This is why, this is why, this is why I'm Old.

I am reviewing a personal beauty item. I'm choosing to call it that, even though technically it's more like a personal hygeine item (and thankfully not connected to last night's blog post, so keep reading).

I work in an industry where I see a lot of people every day, and also handle one of the most disgusting things you could come into contact with: money. Cold, hard cash is not nearly as glamourous as you would suspect. Mostly it's dirty and full of germs and after you count a lot of it, you feel like your hands are crawling with every virus and bacteria God ever created. Because of this, I use a lot of hand sanitizer. And lotion. I've been using Aveeno lotion, which I do love, but it takes a while for it to soak in, so when I go to type or greet the next client, my hands still feel greasy and that drives me nuts. (But not as nuts as imagining the bugs.)

Enter the holy grail of hand sanitizers:

I know that Gold Bond gets a bad rap sometimes, mostly from those gloriously asinine "Gold Bond Medicated Powder" commercials and all of the *problems* that they treat. I assure you that this does NOT smell like Gold Bond Medicated Powder. In fact, here is an actual conversation between my husband and I on our way to church a few weeks ago. This is after we received a sample size Gold Bond Ultimate lotion in our "stockings" at Christmas and put it in the glovebox:

A few moments after putting lotion on, A turns to J and says, "What smells so good in here?"

Hubby sniffs himself, in all the appropriate areas, looks around, leans over and sniffs wife, responds, "I don't know. It's not me or you."

::sideeyes:: Wifey, "it's almost like detergent...just a really clean smell."

The lightbulb above hubby's head suddenly flickers to life for the first time all morning, "it can't be...is it the lotion?"

Wifey sniffs hands and exclaims, "Oh my god, it IS!"

Hubby sits back with a self-satisfied grin and says smugly, "See, I told you that Gold Bond was some good shit."

Yes, this was literally a conversation we had in the car. Luckily, little one was sleeping and is too young (for a very quickly dwindling period of time) to know some of the words we use.

Hopefully it will be a much longer amount of time bgefore he figures out just how uncool his parents are!