This will just be a random stream of thought.

Because I want to blog, I really do, but I find myself uninspired. This is normal. Back when I was blogging a regular 3 times weekly, I would sometimes jot down blog title ideas or funny comments that I heard and wanted to write about. But now I don't do that anymore, and although I find myself inspired sometimes, it usually is just a passing thought.

So I guess this post is abouit blogging, sigh, and why I do it. I have always enjoyed writing. I find it therapeutic. Since I couldn't finish college and actually get any kind of degree that would allow me to write for a living, this will have to suffice. It's kind of like a journal, but I like that voyeurtastic feeling of people reading my thoughts. That's kind of weird, right? Especially because some of them I know, some I don't, and some I know but don't really know, like in person. I know I'll never win any awards or have one of those blogs that allow me to make extra money, but I like the idea that maybe I could, if I really, really tried hard at it.

Other than that, I'll just grace the 50 or so of you with these thoughts:

My old UPS guy was Filipino and really, really hot. His name was Joe.

Speaking of, my husband and the last 3 boyfriends before him all had names that started with 'J'.

I love Indian buffet. I just ate it for lunch (instead of the chicken pot pie from home I should have had) because it has been almost a year since I've had it. I devoured it like a starving person. I shut my office door so no one could watch.

At 9 months, I am mounting a new effort to build my supply again. Although it's been sufficent to nurse on the weekends, my boobs hate the pump and I've been supplementing the daycare bottles for months. I just used up my last formula checks on a 23oz container and I am dreading having to pay full price. So I'm doing whatever it takes: fenugreek, mother's milk tea, pumping 3-4 times a day again, to hold out these last 3-4 months.

I judge people that parent differently than me. I never say anything and I try to hold it all in and deep down I understand that we're all just doing the best that we can to get to the end result of a happy, well-adjusted child, but I still judge.

It bothers me that my husband tries to label Jacob as advanced. I think he's just normal, and normal has such a wide range at this age that I just want to let myself be impressed when he masters a new skill, no matter how long it takes.

Maybe I just don't want him to be walking by 10 months.

Some days I feel closer to my online mom group than my real friends. This makes me sad, but the truth is it's just easier to communicate at my own convenience than trying to schedule events around 2 or more nap and work schedules.

I have two good friends that I really, really want to call right now.

But I have to go back to work.

I think I'm going to walk to the gas station next door and buy a Dr. Pepper. I haven't had one in a while.

Luckily, I don't have enough cash for a candy bar, too.